seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Randomize
