When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
