One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
You took a bar mat shot.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Randomize
