piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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