Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
