For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
