and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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