I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
