East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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