Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
