Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
