he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
