a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
