porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
