I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Randomize