But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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