either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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