1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
