walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize