You're so nebulous sometimes
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Randomize
