Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
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