We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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