She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
