they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I'm too high and old for this...
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
