I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
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