we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
