This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
