we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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