you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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