Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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