Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
