If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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