Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
