Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
