just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
