If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I accidentally had phone sex last night
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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