She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
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