hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
