they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
