she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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