If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
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