One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
