Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
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