Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize