I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
