One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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