Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
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