i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Randomize
