The maid of honor just puked.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
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