the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
