I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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