im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
