just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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