My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
