remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
