Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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