3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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