I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Randomize
