i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
When did angry sex become our thing?
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
