i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Michael Bay diarrhea
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
