where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
