spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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