i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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