I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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