Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Randomize
