You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
