he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
