I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
