Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
