Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
