What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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