But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Randomize
