All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
