only you would photoshop your dick
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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