i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
