brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Randomize
