anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
