Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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